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PLEASE NOTE!!!  Before you proceed, I suggest that you take a minute to look over the INTRO/ CREDITS page.  This page explains the characters' abbreviated "name codes" used throughout the show.  I also recommend reading the Synopsis/ Prologue page in order to better understand the conceptual framework before diving in. 

1) A Major Fanfare and Theme (432Hz) (Cosmic Papa's Monologue) 

"A Major Fanfare and Theme" from the year 2002 is filling the auditorium with sound.  We see the setting sun (reddish hue) and the stars coming out. The sun is positioned just outside the "galactic center"  of a gigantic Milky Way (side view) backdrop.  There are two large (cinema-style) digital screens on either side of the stage placed where both the audience and the on-stage actors can see them.  The screens are displaying 'galactic alignment' themes with radiant flashing colors.  Throughout the show these screens show details of things occurring on the stage as well as esoteric and historic parallels to the main story.  They are also used for special effects and close-ups on the characters' live action.  A distinguished middle-aged black man dressed in a gold and white robe-like garment enters and speaks to the audience:

Hello there.  Most o' you don't know me, though som' o' you is convinced that you do.  I often find myself askin' the question, 'Why do I shine?' Now tha's when I remember that it's a good thang t' shine, 'cause by shinin', I's helpin' others to shine, too.  See, I am most definitely visible t' you, though you'd think I was invisible from the all the unfortunate weather reports you been ignorin' lately.  Either way, I AM here, and so are you.  For the time bein'.... The time bein'.... The time.....bein'....

You see, time is a curious thang.  You live your lives by it.  You're governed by it.  You could even say it's the most governin' thang in the universe as you know it, since they ain't no way around it. You gonna live, you gonna die, and ev'rythang else in between is just the time that ya'll been givin' to play around with, right?  Wrong.  Well, I mean about the time, anyway.  First of all, you ain't gon' die- let's just get that out the way,  'n you ain't goin' to no imaginary place with the fire everywhere and a big red guy with horns and a pitchfork, neither.  Ev'rythang you are, was and will be gon' continue to exist long after yo' playsuits have deteriorated, even if time itself stop existin' one day.  See, time don't really move from past t' future, from here to there, that's just the way ya'll  perceive it fo' now, and we hope you'll be learnin' mo' 'bout that pretty soon. 

Anywayz, seein' as though you ain't got the physiological means yet to visualize what I's talkin' 'bout, I've decided to take this here opportunity to tell you a little story about my son, Kyrone. (pics of KY on screens) Yeah, that's what they callin' him now I s'pose, but
believe you me, he's been called other (rolls eyes, embarrassed)
He's usually known aroun' these parts as THE HU-MAN... THE HUE.... MAN.... on account of the dark hue which embellishes his skin coverin'.  He started out so damn cute, all dark, furry and fuzzy-like, and wit' quite the sense o' humor, I must say.  He got that from me....and they was somethin' really amazin' goin' on in that boy's heart- somethin' that made his neighbors wanna take an interest in him.  You see, he was developin' pretty nicely until some o' them neighbors came along and started messin' wit' the boy's DNA structure, changin' the appearance of his fuzzy playsuit.  They wanted him to be mo' like them.  I know they didn't mean 'm no real harm, but they must've known that by jumpin' the gun on the boy's evolution like that, 'specially when his consciousness hadn't matured 'nuff, they was takin' a big gamble on what could po-tentially lead to some...uh...'undesirable effects'.  (takes a quick sip from a glass of water)

Now fo' a young species like yo'selves to pro-liferate, it's usually in the cosmic playbook fo' the females to be physically attractive to the males, and ev'rybody knows how attractive them human females are- yes sir, ain't no secret 'bout that.  They're like eye-candy, ain't they?   Kyrone'll tell you hisself.  In fact, they's so pretty that bein's from all over the galaxy have traveled here to inta'breed with 'em.  That's right.  Don't look so surprised, this been goin' on since yo' last leap in consciousness, when you was first aware o' time- and some other thangs.  All that inta'breedin's why you's got so many varieties of playsuits to choose from now.  Nevatheless, inside those suits are the real human bein's with real feelin's and real thoughts,....real souls. You're no longer fuzzy toddlers- mo' like rebellious teenagers now. You have been fo' some time, as it would appear to you, but the time has come now kids fo' you to grow up.  You at the point where you don't really need to pro-create no mo'.  They's too damn many o' you now, playin' around all at once.  That can get kind o' dirty.  Yo mama over there (points to CM- ((spot lights her up)) who's elevated in front of the galactic backdrop, sitting in a chair ((with a blanket draped over her, she appears to be coughing)) in performance costume and brushing her hair in front of a dressing room mirror) been feelin' under the weather lately, 'n when she under the weather, YOU under HER weather. You beginnin' to catch my drift yet?  

CP moves to the front of the stage and the curtain closes behind him.  He continues: 

Now I understand you likes yo' pretty things.  There's nothin' wrong with bein' attracted to them beautiful suits, 'n well, some just prefer candy well into they later days.  But there comes a time for most of us when the candy alone become too sweet fo' our taste.  It don't satisfy the real hunger we have- the hunger fo' the only kind o' nourishment that the soul really need in order to grow.  All that candy jus' diverts yo' soul with its sweet suga', and suga' kids... weighs you down....Sho', it can be fun for a while, but in the end, it just tires you out.  It ain't  a very healthy way to live out yo' short time on this here little planet o' yours.    

So what if I was t' tell you that there exists a suga' substitute out there that's a hun'ned
percent guaranteed to give a human bein' what he needs to pro-gress?(shadows/silhouettes of J (in drag) on curtain)  And no, I ain't talkin' 'bout none o' that aspartame crap the Nazis invented- made ya'll think it was good fo' ya,... LAWD. (rolls eyes). No this here's somethin' else.  We got just the suga' substitute you been lookin' fo'.  Ya see, what we's gonna tell you here tonight ain't very complicated.  They ain't much to it; but then again, why should there be? There don't need to be.  It's all here- ev'rythang your species needs to mooove ahead. 

This is the story o' you- the evolvin' human bein'.  Your growth has been monitored, studied, manipulated and even stunted at times by all those who have taken an interest in you, and yet, despite all the hurdles and obstacles on the way, you have still managed to persevere.  You's once again at the point when you get to demonstrate if you's ready to take the next great leap in yo' conscious awareness.  Several times before you have tried, and several times you have failed, but always wit' the chance to start the process over again, 'till that wonduhful day when you fin'ly get it right.  So the real question here is whether or not you gon' weather the storm this t' speak. We wasn't sure if you'd  be able to do it o' not, but Kyrone's got some faith in you. He found it after he fin'ly found a little faith in himself; but I don't wanna spoil yo' story too soon, and jus' so ya'll know- even after you leave here tonight, this story won't be ovuh.  No, this story is just beginnin'. 

So now ladies and gentlemen, without further adieu, we gon' take you back to a time not too long ago...and present to you the man of the hour, Mister..... Kyrone.....Two-Race. 

2) Kyrone Can Dance 

The curtain rises as CP finishes his monologue.  We see an upper-class ritzy nightclub setting with lots of "groovy" Caucasian-types dressed nicely, dancing erratically (choreographed), mingling, drinking heavily, using drugs, etc...  Everyone is there for the "Deejay," but unfortunately for them, tonight's entertainment is being provided by a live band. The band is onstage playing the opening riff to the song.  The patrons don't seem to notice or care much about the band at all, they're concentrating solely on "the beat."  There is a handsome, young and very tan man (KY) standing in the center of all this and showing off his new dance moves to the white people.  CP takes his position on the bandstand stage next to CM and they sing:

(CH (chorus) band- whispered) Look out! (3x) He's out!

(CM- sung)
There's a man in the house tonight
You be sure to treat him right
Got a munky walk, a funky talk
A groove that's outa sight
They call 'm Mista Two-Race
Com’n watch him take a bow
‘N if ya ask him to shhaaaake for you  (shakes arms/body)  
He'll show ya how to do it now

(CP) He's gon' wake up all you krackas
Infatrate yo' neighborhood
With some CAWFE in his blood now
He's gon' get you feelin’ good

(B) Kyrone can dance, (CP) white people
Kyrone can dance, (CP) he sho' can
(CM) Kyrone can dance, (CP) 'n all the people say
(B (both)+ CH) Kyrone can dance, Yeah!

Ya gon' see him on the street
'Gon see him on the floor
Ya always find a crowd a-roun' 'm
‘N when they loud, he give 'em more
Now some'll stay for hourz, dig it
Some might stay for weeks
But affa couple days they gonna feel the haze
From all the strain on they butt cheeks

(CP) Ha-Ha, So put away that liqa, 'n throw away the cup
‘Cuz when you feel his jungle boo-gay
It's gon' really mess you up

(same) Kyrone can dance, white people
Kyrone can dance, he sho' can
Kyrone can dance, 'n all the people say
(CH) Kyrone can dance, Ayeeayeeyaaay
O, Kyrone can dance!

(Inst. Break)
During this sect. there's a strobe light on KY (center stage) who's giving them the dance of his life.  The others have formed a half-circle around him/ behind him and are cheering him on.  At the conclusion of his solo dance, they all clap and cheer some more then go back to their 'dancing'.  KY  then catches the eye of a pretty young girl, PB, accompanied by her friend, J (in drag). He is unaware of who she is.  They start to dance together and it gets pretty 'hot'.

(CM) He jus' can't, he jus' can't, he jus' cant control them feet (repeat 4x's with stacked chorus)

(CP) (2x) Yo' safes is full o' muh-nay
                Yo' faces full o' greed

(CP-rapping) (We see some 'strait' guys laughing at and taunting J in the background)

Ain't it a shame, he brought the game
But there nevuh any genda bendin' here at the party
They in the zone, refinin' they tone
But puhtendin' like they nevuh really even started
I said it fool, we' see what you gon' do (to a guy snorting coke by the stage)
When the medicin' be rollin' outcha back o yo' body
Think ova' yo' crime, you don't see mine
'N hell, I'm rollin' fine

(CM) O Kyrone can dance (repeat several times, then w/ CH)

(Spotlight on KY and PB talking for the first time)

KY extends his hand and introduces himself, "Hey, I'm Kyrone."  PB, ", Bonnie."  KY, "So... are you here with anyone?"  PB, "Maybe...well, just my friend Jermaine....over there. (PB motions across the dancefloor.  J flamboyantly waves back with a wry smile.)  KY, "Ohh, (humbly realizing his mistake).  PB, "I've never seen anyone move like that...not here anyway.  You're pretty damn talented."  KY (blushing), "Thanks. You're not too bad yourself."  (They then front a large choreographed dance with the rest of the crowd.)

(CP) He can dance, he can dance (repeat)

(A (all)) He jus' dance, and he dance and he dance and he dance
O Kyrone can dance, Kyrone can dance
O lawd, Kyrone is doin’ it again  (CP)That man be jammin’, Kyrone Two-Race (repeat)
O lawd, Kyrone is doin’ it again  (CP)He Mammy jammin’, Kyrone Two-Race
(A) Oh Lawd, Kyrone is doin' it again, he's doin' it again
He's doin' it again!

The choreographed dance ends and we see PB writing something on a napkin and giving it to KY. They continue to talk off to the side.  

(CH) He jus' can't, he jus' can't, he jus' can't control them feet (repeat)

(CP- with FX) (specialized choreographed dances with groups of males/females- next 2 verses)

He just one dop' rhythmic MOTHER FUCKER (said by the coked-out guy near the stage who grabs the mic from CP.  CP quickly snatches it back and looks perturbed at him)
With a license fo gettin' down
Ya his legs contort while his neck support
That tater-head tha's spinnin' 'round
All the ladies wanna grab it
‘N all they men jus' stand n' watch
And well they don’t complain when they find a stain
(White male dancers) From all the mo-tion in our crotch,,,Yeah! (grab crotches)

It ain’t never been no secret
This cat is here to stay
He can bust it loose, dribble on the juice
When he throws his vibe your way
'N now the house is always jumpin’
Now the party’s all complete
Ya we mighty glad we got him
To keep the peoples on their feet
(CP) 'N he’ll be back again next Friday
Fresh moves for you to try
A little angel in his pocket
(B) A little fire in his, in his eye (CP) AND WHY???

(A)‘Cuz Kyrone can dance....  (KY and PB join mass choreographed dance once again)

*repeat chorus*

(band) O, Kyrone, (dancers) O, Kyrone, (A) O, Kyrone

(CM) Lawdy, how that Two-Race can daeeaeeaeeance...

The curtain closes with KY and PB embracing/ kissing and the dancers finishing their dance and song:


3) Interlude/ The Deceivers

CP has moved to the front of the stage during the outro of "Kyrone Can Dance."  A spotlight comes up on him as the set changes.  Halfway through his narration, we begin to see the characters he is referring to, doing their daily "stuff" back in the day. 

Well, well,... look like the man of the house caught the attention of a pretty little princess.  If the truf' be told, she actually IS a princess, royal blood and all.   Kyrone has no idea who she is yet, or jus' what kinda role she gon' play his life- but we'll get back to her a little later.   Now, because of the enormous gravity of a show like this one here, it's important to have a little background info on our subjects befo' we get to the real heavy stuff. 

(Stage lights up with 2 divided sides- on one side is a kitchen, where KY's Mom is cooking and cleaning.  On the other side is the large and secluded backyard of the house (wooded) where KY's Father and 2 of his ex-military buddies are drinking beer and firing off their shotguns at small vermin in the yard.) 

CP continues:  (screens show random clocks rotating counter-clockwise)

This here was Kyrone's house when the boy was growin' up.  And right there is the woman who once captured the attention of yo's truly.  She at one time had a magic I can't even describe.  A voice like an angel, a star in the makin'.  She coulda' had ev'rythang she wanted, but her mind was too darkened by her deep-seeded fears. She neva believed in herself, and that led her to take the easy way out.  So, she married a red-neck.  Back in them days,  she just loaded-up on pills 'n booze all the time t' cova up the pain of facin' what she might have been if life- accordin' to her, wadn't so "cruel." (makes fingers in air)

(young KY enters, and opens the refrigerator looking for a snack).

AH, now here's our boy.  Look at him.  So full o' life n' optimism.  I s'pose they all start out that way befo' reality take the bite out of 'em.  (CP exits)

'The Deceivers' is sung by KY's Mom, Phyllis (M), while preparing snacks and drinks for the guys outside. It’s sung to KY who doesn’t seem to be paying much attention- he’s practicing dance moves while making a sandwich for himself.  M is taking sips from a bottle of wine and popping pain pills every now and then, when KY isn't looking.  

(K) (spoken) Ma, I wish you coulda seen me at rehearsal today.  I had the whole place jumpin’ off the roof! (he jumps repeatedly) I don’t know what it is, but lately I've been feelin' like I'm gonna do somethin' amazing with my life.  Something up there is... guiding me- I know it!  It's like these voices that keep sayin' that I've got to do some...real 
important thing someday,... and well, you know I can't really disagree with 'em.  I mean after all, I got the looks, I got the moves (performs dance move), I got it ALL, baby!

(M) (spoken) You shouldn’t be listening to those voices, Ky.  I call them the ‘deceivers’. They’re the little bastards who fill your head with all them hopes of making it BIG, then leave you full of nothing but doubts and heartaches.  Trust me kiddo,  I know about this sort of stuff...

They’ll offer you a brighter day
The chance to take it all the way
They’ll promise you the dream
A number on the team
Some bags of spending cash to throw…(gasps)… away. (KY drops plate, she catches it on the floor) 

(D, from outside) Hey Phyllis, you bringing those drinks sometime today?

I know the feeling can be fun
A stone for nearly everyone
But with something in the mix
The deceivers get their fix
And suddenly it all goes ‘POOF,’ and then you’re done. (makes bomb gesture on the word ‘poof‘/ gun outside fires simultaneously)
(spoken) Don’t you hear that gun?

(M moves to front of stage- sings out to audience.  On screens we see an idealized version of herself as an old woman being honored at some fictitious award ceremony)

Somewhere out beyond this empty city
Lies the place where your Mom’s the fading star
And everyone adorns her with their pity
For the scars in her heart
From never getting her start
When she should have clearly been free
To be everything … that she should be. 

They’ll tell you that you’re just too old,
To belly-up your pot of gold
They’ll tell you you’re a loser
An ordinary bruiser
Before you ever really even know….. that you’ve been told (she stutters the line as KY walks by her with a six-pack of beer- she looks at him questioningly)

(spoken)  Ky, are those beers cold?  (he shrugs as he puts the six-pack on the tray)

Don’t fall for all the hype you get
It’s all about your final ‘net’ (rubs fingers together)
Don’t ever be a rocker
You’d better be a doctor
I’ll swear on my very life that it’s…. a safer bet.

(friend #1 outside shouts) How ‘bout a little song out here for the Vets? (all the men laugh, as she slams the door closed angrily) 

How many other ways can I say it
Our time here was never meant to be fair (holds KY’s shoulders)
How much pain is it gonna take until you see that
Your life is going nowhere 
(D) (shouting) Phyllis!The Drinks! (we hear him though an open window now)
There’s no one to help get you there (turns toward voices outside)
(D)  Phyllis!!!
No one that even bothers to care  (gun fires and startles her)
About your… silly little stinkin’ prayer. 
(M sighs and turns to KY)
(D) Phyllis, we’re dyin’ out here!
(M spoken)
C’mon honey, let's get this over with before he has another heart attack. 

(she hands him the tray, they smile at each other and KY exits)

(CP enters, unnoticed by the other characters of course, (outside the house) as a gardener with overalls and a hoe.  There are 3 other gardeners with him, also working in the background.  He says to M (who's still inside and can't hear him): Deceivers?  Huh! Nobody eva' promised you no fame and fo'tune.  (to audience) Now if you wanna talk about deceivers, take a look at these white fellas ovuh here. (motioning toward D and his 2 friends. On screen, shots of various famous white male republican-type politicians in 'denial'. ) These boneheads been deceivin' themselves fo' years, and they don't even know they doin' it.  He begins working/plowing in the flower bed during the song, shaking his head silently at all the ridiculous things KY is being to be subjected to listen to.)

During CP's little narrative, KY has been delivering the drinks and snacks to his step-father and his step-father's two friends (who are wearing hunting jackets, black military
vests w/ ammo, helmet gear, ect...), KY quickly tries to flee back into the house, but is stopped by the men.  He gets teased about what he was telling his mother just before in the kitchen. While fetishing their cigars, bullets and other dick-shaped objects, they offer him a steak from the grill but he declines, making a grimacing face because he doesn't eat meat.
The Dad's two friends surround him and #1 says, "Ky, you ain't a nancy-boy, are ya?" The other (Friend #2, (wearing a football jersey)) feels the styling product in KY's hair from behind and replies, "Ya know, I think he might be." They laugh as KY jerks away, embarrassed.  Friend #1 says, "Don't tell me you're one o' them pussifist-types who thinks the world would be better off without guns or militaries.  Don'tcha know how important them things are, boy?"  to which KY replies, "Well, I don't think there's a need for violence. Violence only breeds anger and hatred and then eventually more violence. It's just a vicious circle and no real solution."  Friend #1, "No real solution, huh?"  #2,  "I think your boy's in need of some serious guidance here, Roger."  Dad replies, "I've got just the thing.  Mac, throw on that forty-five."  (music starts- set changes slightly- new darker backdrop/theme. The men assume 'line formation' and take turns firing their rifles.  They all fire together on the fourth gunshot.  (#2 ('Mac') straps on a Colt .45)

4) Hail To The Gun

(D) Now Ky, there's three things you need to know if you're gonna survive in this here world: how to drink, how to score with the ladies (winks) and most importantly how to fight.  Now I wouldn't be doing my 'fatherly duty' if I didn't teach you at least this much.

(The guys alternate vocal lines, KY picks up his portable video game and doesn't really pay them much attention.)

(D) Hold up them fists there, boy
(1)  Don't resolve to be a coward
(2)  These arms, they ain't no toys
(All) So use 'em carefully!

(1) Give up that dancin' noise
(D) Girls want some meat with power (holds up gun)
(2) Not like them sissy boys
(A) The fruits that barely teethe!

(D) The rifle is our savior
      Our tried and tested friend
(1) And guaranteed to fend-away your sorrow
(2) Don't mind our blind behavior
(D) It's our pride we must defend
(A) Without him we would never see tomorrow!

(1) Put down that vidya game
(2) We got the real thing fer ya
(D) Sensitive wimps are limp and lame
(A) This iron's much more fun!

(2) When yer a killin' machine
(1) Them perty chicks'll all adore ya
(D) Each day, our town don't feel the same
(A) We're nearly overrun!

(1) A real man is a winner
       And winners never flee
(2) When trouble comes a-creepin' 'round them corners
(D) Our freedom is our dinner
(1)  And dinner's never free (holds up steak from grill w/ tongs)
(A) We've sworn that we'll protect our native-borners
      From for'ners! (Dad and #1 fire their guns, #2 misses his cue and choreography, looks embarrased, then fires after the fact.  After that, they all fire together.)

(D had put his arm around M ((on the second to last line above)) who had emerged from house in a bikini, sunglasses and stupid-looking beach hat, ready to sunbathe.  After the last line he kisses her cheek, and she slightly recoils- showing us she really doesn't like him that much, then retires to her lounge chair w/ her bottle and pills.) (CP 'checks her out' in her swimsuit- raises eyebrows) (Set changes again slightly during fanfare reprise.)

#1 says, "Here Ky, try a real drink (offers him beer).  C'mon, it'll put some hair on that chest."  (KY refuses, making a face- he doesn't like the taste) #2: "It's time you grew a pair, kid. You won't get anywhere with that pansy-ass attitude." 

(2) The warrior's a dyin' breed
(D) We're talkin' 'bout the men of honor
(1)  Them gold-diggin' women need
(A) A fighter with big balls!

(D) A warnin' you'd be right to heed
(2) Or it won't be long 'till yer a goner
(1) Without your trusty friend, indeed (shows gun)
(A) Ya just might lose it all!
(2) 'Cause when you're feelin' wimpy
      He's there to make ya strong (hands the Colt .45 to KY- perplexed look on his face)
(D) A metal shaft to fill your empty pocket 
(1) He'll state your message simply
(2)  Don't matter if you're wrong
(A) A pistol, rifle, cannon, bow or rocket... Just cock it!

(A) Let's hear a cheer for our shotguns!  (start marching in place on the word 'shotgun,' then fire guns) (On screens- fireworks, shots of famous and infamous armies and military leaders throughout history)
      A blessing from the mighty NRA  (Salute on 'A')
      Them queers with their tears won't learn nothin' from our ways (sarcastic hand motions)
(D) When he's near there is no fear we might be gay (cradles gun like a warm blanket, other guys shaking their heads slowly in agreement)
(A) So we'll clear our brains with beer and fake our play... (they all take a big swig)

(music int./ dance break)

(The men are holding their steins and doing choreographed blatant (yet unconscious to them) homosexually suggestive action/dance with each other (ass-slapping, mutual gun shaft waxing, etc....  They're laughing it off like it's all just having fun, but the dancing gets 'serious' when the John Wayne-sounding music comes in) 

(All- gardeners join in too)
Hail to the gun, it's the symbol for our PENIS
Hail to the gun, it's the emblem of our lives
Enemies run, duck and tremble when they see this (hold up guns)
Only the strong man survives
Remember what's best fer our wives... (light on men fades to black, and hazy light comes up on M waking up from her nap on the porch)
(M stretches her arms out, looks around, haphazardly rises from her lounge chair and then stumbles into house slowly) 

CP (who finished gardening the rose bushes during all this nonsense) speaks to audience:

"Well, I guess you could say Ky's Earth-parents got some uh, "issues" to work out. Now look at this... (looks at M) Ooowee! Drunk as a skunk! I remember it wasn't long ago when you could've been standin' in the big leagues. Now you can't hardly stand up to go to the toilet.  Humph! (he follows her into house- scene changes slightly again)

(to audience again)
This next little numba' is fo' Someone Livin' Grand...."

M is now inside, clumsily attempting to clean-up the house, CP is next to her window (unnoticed) singing:

5) No Thang I Do

(CP) I wanna reach ya, but I can’t find the do'
Well, they's so much we tryn' t' teach ya
Don'tcha see yet what it’s fo'?
A final feature in an epic com-o-deeeee
But t' you- a travesty, if you remain a 'nobody'

And 'nobody' haf t' be, ‘cause no one would pay t' see
Some cryin' from hell from a dyin' rebel
Who's painfully stranglin' her plea (M inside making singing and choking motions- inaudible)

I wanna hold you, but you're hardly nevuh here
Well is you wrapped inside yo' anger?
Is you hounded by yo' fear?
Some nasty reason, but maybe just for sho' mmm hmm
‘Cause you is more than you have seen yo'self, and they's mo' you need to know-o

But no thang I do seem to get thru to you, you're fightin' your own
And no thang I say could change you anywayz, you hidin' that phone
Is 'nobody' home?

I wanna praise you, but dain't nuttin' lef' t' praise
You’d ratha spend yo' hours tendin' to yo' impendin' 'End -O- Days'
It’s so conveeenient to crypt-o-fy yo' plans, ha-ha
But it won't neva make no diff-er-ence, when 'nobody' undastayayayands

(w/ CH)
And no thang I do seem to get thru to you, you're fightin' your own
And no thang I say could save you anywayz, you ridin' alone
You right in that zone
An' you bitin' that bone

(Mom sings, holding bottle, slurring her words and looking out the window)

(M) What a sherry-lovely day, I'll just let those dummies play, (gestures toward other side of stage)
Pesky critters in our garden are not keeping far away....(glances unknowingly at CP who raises an eyebrow- looks at audience)
I can taste the morning sun, (hiccups) It's approved for everyone

(Other side of stage- spot light on D. He sings with Mom (he's got his rifle, she's got her pills)

(D) And there are battle calls in the making, we'll shatter skulls for the taking,
(B) We know we haven't really had much fun, when there's only one....
(Dad elevates a dead racoon off the ground by the neck, Mom simultaneously holds up and swallows the entire contents of her prescription bottle)

(dance break- set opens up/changes while M haphazardly dancing w/ household items (mop, pictures, etc...) and falling over now and then, CP and gardener dancers have moved inside and are helping her up when she falls- she still doesn't notice them)

(CP to M again, now in her bedroom which has a kind of 'Eastern' decor and pictures of guru-types on the walls)

(CP) Ya think you seen it all, from shamen t' snakes
Well I got some news fo' you, even Buddhas have they fakes
So ya didn’t get to fly, ‘n I’m sorry ‘bout the mess
And there's a tru'f behind the timin' that we really should confess

But no thang I do seem to get through to you, you're fightin' your own
And no thang I say could change you anywayz, you ridin' alone

No thang I do seem to get through to you, you're fightin' your own
No thang I say could change you anywayz, you bitin' that bone
No thang I do seem to get through to you, you're fightin' your own
And no thang I say could save you anywayz, you right in that zone

CP turning to audience:

Will you find yo' way home?  Why you dyin' to roam?
Will you find yo' way home?  Why you cryin' alone?

(w/ CH)
Have you finally grown?
Has it finally shown?
Has you found yo' way home? 
Is yo' eye in the zone?

(The other gardeners remove their overalls and suddenly transform into angels in white luminescent robes. They surround the now passed-out Mom on her bed, converging                                                                   
slowly toward her and singing.  There are major psychedelic strobes and other lighting effects onstage and lighting the entire theater to accompany M's wigged-out experience on the bed.  CP too removes his gardener overalls revealing his shining, shimmering gold robe underneath)

Is your eye in the zone? (4x's)
Have you found your way home? (4x's)

(CP joining)
Are you dyin' to roam?
Are you cryin' alone?
Are you eyin' the zone?
Is it shaped like a cone??? (on screens- 'Twilight Zone' cones spinning everywhere)

Fade to black 

CP (voice only- in P.A. system):
Now that we got that little history lesson out the way, les' just go ahead 'n move back into a mo' recent time.  'Member that sweet little princess Kyrone dun' picked up at the club?  Well there she go now, walkin' home to her fairytale mansion with Jermaine, her best friend in the whole galaxy.  (we see PB and J (not in drag) walking, holding hands, laughing and attracting the attention of onlookers)  mmm hmm, Yep, tha's right, this the boy from the club befo' wit' all that makeup on his face. He's a real lady-boy- this one, and a sho' fine pretty one at that.

(we see PB&J walking to PB's mansion, they pass by a children's park)

J:  You know what your mother's gonna say about this new guy, Bonni...
PB: I don't care what that bitch thinks.  She'll never make me be like her.  I won't do it.  There's more to life than money or power, or control over everyone.  That's all she really cares about anyway.  Hey look, they got a seesaw! 

(music starts, they do a choreographed dance around the seesaw during the intro, then more dialogue)

6) Royal Family Suite

J: Well I think your on the right track,... even if you are still a total slut....
PB: (laughing sarcastically and playfully punching J in the shoulder) I'm not that bad.
J: Oh, really? They could write a song about you.  Hmm...Maybe something like this:
I. Shine In The Light

(J) (teasingly, PB reacts to his taunting)

I know a girl with a sweet tooth for chocolate
Jus' one little bite and she's off like a rocket
Feed her all night and she'll offer her socket (PB flips him off, smiling)
And she'll really blow your mind

She's a wiz' with a timer, as long as you set it
A quick-witted jokester, as long as you get
There isn't a stoner she hasn't embedded
This diva is oh so fine

I've known this whore
Since she was only four
She's worth millions in cash from her rich mommy's stash (mockingly)
But she's dreamin' of something more.

She's gonna shine in the light
She's gonna time it out right
And fly it all night 'till the mornin'
She's gonna hold on tight
Refocus her sights
Then fly it all night 'till the mornin', unh!
(more dance, then more dialogue)

PB:  Alright, well y' know you're no perfect angel either...,  and two can play at that game, MISS JERMAINE!
J:  I'd like to see that. Bring it on, sister!
PB: Let me think......  OK, I got it.

I know a guy who wears feminine panties
The colorful kind with the lace in the fannies (makes motion on her butt)
If you're thinkin' of tryin' some love with a tranny
Well he'll really blow your "mind" (quotes w/ fingers)
(J) (spoken) 'N don't you forget it!
(PB) His body is lean when he's not keepin' water
His mood can be mean when he's not eatin' his fodder
You're wonderin' now if he's keen for your daughter  (arm around male bystander ((who's startled))
Don't worry, YOU'RE more his kind  (points to guy, then hand on her own chest and batting her eyelashes)
All of that glow
All of that fancy show
His life, as you see is a big mystery
But there's somewhere he's bound to go

He's gonna shine in the light
He's gonna time it out right
And fly it all night 'till the mornin'
He's gonna hold on tight
Refocus his sights
Then fly it all night 'till the mornin'

(Both-octaves) We'll find a suitable place for us
(harm.) No ordinary town
(oct.) Where we don't have to embrace the fuss
(PB) Of lying and blame
(J) Or crying and shame
(B-harm.) And people who tear us down

(B-harm.)We're gonna shine in the light
We're gonna time it out right
And fly it all night 'till the mornin'
We're gonna hold on tight
Refocus our sights
Then fly it all night 'till the mornin',

repeat, then laughter at end.

(PB & J arrive at PB's mansion at same time as QB, H & the young daughters (YDs) (9 and 10 years old) getting out of limousine. YDs are dressed exactly like QB (glasses and all) and stand close to her, imitating her motions and sticking their tongues out at their big sister.  H has a dog collar around his neck with a chain that starts at QB's wristband)

(dialogue QB, PB&J)

QB: Well, well.  Look who decided to finally show up.  Have a good night with your liberal hippie friends?  (mocking motion at J)
PB:  Shut up, mother.
QB: (interrupting) It just might interest you to know that while YOU were off getting stoned, I'VE just received the party's nomination to run for president. 
J:  (plain-faced and sarcastically) Go figure.
PB: Whoop-dee-doo.  (twirls finger) So the Nazis finally went with a woman, huh?
        (PB & J laugh)
QB: You can laugh all you want, but this IS happening, and when I take the presidency- you WILL be there... and with a serious attitude adjustment, if necessary. 
PB:  Well it just might interest YOU mother, to know that I met the most amazing guy recently.  He's super-talented, super-cute and we have another date tonight.  In fact I think he might be "THE ONE." Oh, and did I mention, HE'S BLACK! 

(The mansion opens up like a giant-sized Barbie Playhouse.  There are six cross-sections: The bottom floor is kitchen, foyer, living room (left to right as you're looking at it).  Top floor is PB's room, master bathroom, QB's room (left to right again).  The back of the foyer has a staircase.  The rooms are lit with different pastel hues: living room- green, kitchen- yellow, foyer- purple, master bedroom- red, master bath- orange, PB's room- blue.)

(QB ((obviously taken aback by the thought of her daughter with an African-American)) tries to hide her shock by skirting the issue)

QB:  Well, what good are men anyway?  They are the reason this country's in this rotten mess to begin with. (looks at H, who makes a perturbed face)  You should think twice before throwing your life away over some silly crush.  I'd  reexamine my priorities if I were you.

PB:  (turning away) SO glad you're not.
(QB, YDs go to living room, PB and J to foyer and H goes to kitchen to read newspaper)

II.  Who Needs A Man?

Soon we'll be sounding our victory call
Soon all the voters will choose
With all of the problems those pricks can't resolve (motions toward H)
(w/ YDs) Well how can we lose?

She's got the support of her family life (arm around young daughters)
"A regular mom," Saturdays (finger quotes)
With deep caring eyes and her warm apple pies (gestures proudly)
(w/ YDs) Yeah, that's what the media says

It's a shame you've been sleepin' (to PB&J)
With your noggins in the sand
Feel the grain we've been reapin' (holds up her nomination documents)
'Cause real women can
Alone make a stand
So who needs a stinkin' man?
(PB/J) We need a man! (thumbs thrust to themselves)
(YDs) We do anything that a man can do (repeat several times)
(H) Who needs a man? (to audience, looking up from his newspaper quickly- just to sing his line)
(PB/J) We need a man! (moved over to kitchen, directed to H)
(QB) Who needs a man?
(H) Who needs a man? (same as above)
(All) AAAAH, YEAH! (PB&J throw up hands and exit upstairs to PB's room)
(QB) Who needs a man?

(dialogue QB yelling across the house)


H: (plain-faced) Yes, dear.
QB: WHAT did you call me?!

(H emptying trash and singing)
It can get awfully lonely at night
When no one relies upon you
To sit at the throne and be king of your home
But what can I do? (other Harolds overlap on screens)

She's constantly stranglin' my balls in her vice
With secrets held over my head
Don't matter at all if I'm naughty or nice
There's room for just ONE in our bed

(QB) (walking into kitchen toward H- away from YDs)

And when you are sleepin'
To my bath will I retire
And later then, if you're peepin'
You just might see my rubber tree
(opens pants and pulls out and twirls a bright red 12" dildo already strapped around her waist)
No batteries required...
Who needs a man?!

(H) Who needs a man?
(repeat 2x's with suggestive motion to H about ramming him up the wazoo.  We see the fear in his eyes and realize that he is definitely not for this idea, as he shakes his head 'no' and exits upstairs through foyer to master bedroom to prepare for bed, still singing)

(QB) (still in kitchen with dildo hanging down) Who needs a man? (repeat ad nauseum)

(PB&J) (now in PB's upstairs room. J getting into drag, putting on make-up w/ PB)
We need a man (several times, then Shine In The Light chorus)

(YDs) (still in living room and singing with much sass) We do anything that a man can do! (repeat ad nauseum)


III.  Strap-On

(Only the upstairs bathroom lights up. We see H brushing his teeth in his pajamas.  He reaches into a secret drawer and pulls out a gay porn magazine, sits on the toilet and sings ((coffee mug in his other hand, takes random sips)))

No, I'll never let her use that strap-on
No, I'll never let her use that strap-on
No, she'll never get to use that strap on me

No, she'll never get into my backyard
No, she'll never get into my backyard
No, I'll never let her near my bum, baby

It's not that I would mind to have a 12" pipe inside me (dreamy look on his face)
It's just the way she likes to play so painfully strange, you see
(grabs his butt and cringes)

No, I''ll never let her use that strap-on
No, I'll never let her use that strap-on
No, she'll never get to use that strap-on (he snaps, both hands)
(sounds of QB entering master bedroom next door, H is startled)
To use that strap-on
To use that strap... on.... me
Please don't use that strap on me!

IV. They Live A Lie

On the last 'snap,' the foyer alone lights up behind J's silhouette (black spot) (We see the shadow of J, now in drag.  He's holding up a 'snap' position with his hand frozen in the air for the first few moments). We see his face on the side screens- 2 profiles looking in toward stage (echoing his live stage voice).  Also on screens are shots of the 'lies' that the royal family- and other conservative political evangelical types commit and live with everyday.  Psychedelic visual effects accompany the music and emanate from J and the foyer in a multi-colored spectral effect.

(J) Oooooo, they live a lie (repeat)
Oooooo, they lie

During J's singing, other rooms light up briefly with silhouettes of respective characters saying:

PB: (opening a bag of weed) It's only one more for now.  Just one more won't hurt.
H: (still holding mag) But I'm definitely not a queer.  I know that.
QB: (praying w/ crucifix in hand) Thank you, Lord.  I promise to do thy bidding. 

V. Awful/ Awesome Day

(PB's room alone lights up.  We see her rolling a  joint as she sings with a depressed tone)
Now I'll tell myself it's over
And I'll put my head to rest
'Cause weed is way more fun than her crappy coffee (glances toward QB's room)
It's hard to tell your mother that you mean her all the best
When the only thing she cares about is SHE
Would it ever bother her to say 'good-bye'
Every time I look at her I start to cry
Where's my motivation gone to even try
I don't know why I choose to hide

Hallelujah, it's an awful day
The moon's eclipsed the rising sun
I thought I knew it all
Thought I'd see through it all
Somehow we blew it all away
Hallelujah, it's an awful day
That greedy witch fooled everyone
I know it's wrong to think, but sometimes I wish that I were dead
So I wouldn't have to face what she has done
Awful day, awful day, awful day for fun (holds up the completed joint, stares at it, room light dims out)

(QB's room now lights up, as she proudly sings to audience)

As I've told you once before
And I'll tell you once again
Your life's most certainly better when winning trophies
Ever since I can remember, I have outscored all my friends
There's never been a more deserving me
I'll be in their songs and books of history
How I was very first to win the crown
And how the great republic really took to me
Look at me, just look at me!

Hallelujah, it's an awesome day
The final pageant has begun
This time we prove it all
This time behooves us all
This time we move the wall away
Hallelujah, it's an awesome day
The title prize is nearly won
I know there's been some cheating, but it was worth the price to pay
To have my glorious moment in the sun

(meanwhile, PB&J have exited the front of the mansion and have met some friends waiting outside.  PB's area lights up alternately w/ QB's room as they exchange lines)

(PB) Give me your wisdom (Holding and looking up to J)
(QB) Give me your might  (holding her crucifix)
(B) Give me your blessings tonight

No they can't take that away again (Chorus 'AHHS' in back)
No they can't take that away again
No they won't take that away again....

(QB and chorus of political supporters-on screens) 
Hallelujah, it's an awesome day!

(PB and friends)
Awful day!

(A) Awful/Awesome day

(QB and PB alone)
My friends

(PB&J and friends slowly exit stage left, living room alone lights up- we see H there alone tucking himself in on the couch to sleep)

(J pausing for a moment to glance back at H and sing)

Oooooo, they live a lie
Oooooo, (looks at audience)
They lie...

(fade to black)

PB, J (still in drag) and friends arrive at J's favorite hang-out place.  KY is already inside, waiting for them.  As they enter, they pass a homeless bag-lady with a shopping cart.  They don't notice her.  KY and PB begin kissing and smoking on a big maroon sofa.  We see that the bag-lady is actually CM, and she speaks to the audience:

(CM) While the two lovebirds were beginnin' their courtship, despite the objections of Princess Bonnie's mother, Queen Beeotch,  the media was goin' off in a frenzy with this...uh... news....(rolls her eyes sarcastically). Look! (She holds up a newspaper- we see the front page headline "JUNGLE FEVER!!!" and pictures of PB and KY holding hands on the big screens)   Kyrone was beginning to realize that his dream of helping the world out could be more than just fantasy. Being involved with a princess can have some rewards, I suppose.  I hope for your sake that it won't divert him too much. 

7) Time Out 

(Music starts.  There is a giant grandfather clock in center of galactic backdrop with a stationary position of 11:55, and we see many different styles of clocks, watches, etc.. on screens- all moving erratically- forwards, backwards, and back and forth- all different speeds. CM sings. Gay male wait staff and PB&J's friends are the dancers/chorus)

It's the man who will not stand that finds himself in trouble
Instead of making double, he opts to play with toys
His game's been set, now should we get someone to whip this Mississippi boy?
(men and J-eyebrows) With joy!
So afraid of how he's made he'll try to sell his story
To this angelic princess, one unsuspecting girl
But with this act she'll hold him back and send his little head into a whirl (makes finger twirl)
(J) Think I'm gonna hurl! (motions sick stomach from all the smoke)

They'll take the time to feel the motion of the ocean
They'll take the time to feel the breeze through the trees
They'll take some time out to play
They'll waste a dime on the way
They'll make some rhymes while they're grindin' away

(Ky & PB, holding joints up) Heyeeeyay!

Despite all this confusion, he's barely still aware
Of changes in his diet and personal taboos
Thinks he's movin' up to provin' how he'll have his cake and eat it too

(men, holding cake slices on trays, offering to audience)
Oh, would you try some, (behind CM's lines)
Would you shine sometime? Ah,ah,ah,ah,aye....

And when his toy's been played and voided, losin' all its value,
And no more will there exist the chance to re-solidify
This ever-waitin', hesitatin', fumigatin', pro-creatin' guy (KY sprays air-freshener, then dives in on PB)
(men) Don't ask her why,
(CM) Don't ask me why
He took the time to feel the motion of the ocean
He took the time to feel some rays on his face
He took the time out to play (CH Ahhhhs)
He threw the guidebook away
He took a fine silver lining and soaked it in grey, heyayay!

(men-They're takin'...)
Time-out to play
Time-out today
Time wasn't put here to stay, hey-yay... (CM onstage suddenly disappears and we see her giant face- now radiant and beautiful inside the backdrop of a giant old-style clock getting smaller and smaller, then disolving into the center of our galactic backdrop. The screen clocks are now rotating clockwise only, uniformly at a much faster speed than normal)

CH) Yo Mama don't play
Yo Mama don't play
Yo Mama don't play
Yeah, yeah... (they repeat this several times waving their index fingers to the beat and doing a choreographed dance)

CP:  (off to the side and on 1 screen, dressed in a tuxedo)

UH...Speaking o' time, we really need get this show movin' here.  You see it was about that time when Jermaine over there was givin' Ky the proverbial 'eye,' and the two men started a little 'discreet flirtation' as it were, unbeknownst to Princess Bunny, o' course.  By this time, Ky was well aware o' his bi-sexual inner urges and wasn't exactly 'shy'n away' from the 'she-male's' eva'-aggressive advances.  Despite them urges however, there was nothin' that could steer him away from the love he had in his heart fo' his Princess; and he certainly had no intentions of breakin' her heart, so their relationship continued on. Not long afta' that, they was even gettin' hitched. 
     It was also 'bout that time when KY began havin' some pretty strong visions and revelations 'bout his planet's future and the important role he would play in humankind's development.  Needless to say, he was a bit shaken by this, and maybe even a little skeptical 'bout what he jus' might be, and what he was seein' there in his mind's eye. But the boy chose to ignore all the things these visions was revealing t' him.  Now, if you don't mind, I'm a hafta excuse myself so I ain't late fo' my uh... ahem...son's weddin'. 

(During all this, we've been seeing on the screens fast random footage of KY and PB during their romantic courtship, as well as events described above by CP (including KY and J stuff) The random events open up like "bubbles" of time for our perusal, then close just as rapidly, and time seems to warp really fast until the next bubble opens (with time slowing again to show us the next event). Another event shows one of QB's advisors secretly witnessing something happening between KY and J, then we see the advisor whispering into QB's ear.  Her face looks intrigued. These type of 'event bubbles' go on until the end of the song.)

8) The Way That You Feel

CM: (in a beautiful purple/sparkling dress singing from high above (in the galactic backdrop) to the royal family and guests inside a church. PB is preparing herself in the background. J (in 'semi' drag) is the 'maid' of honor.  On screens- pics of churches, religious leaders and events, etc... as well as souls of beings wandering Earth and space and looking for guidance/light.  They're holding flashlights in one hand and religious materials/ doctrines in the other.)

I hear the frightened pray
With tears they hide away
Locked behind an iron curtain
Far from blinding light, for certain
Afraid of who they are
Or how they’ve come so far
Never payin' mind to knowin'
What their needy eyes are showin’

And did you ever wonder why
It is your heart that you deny
From having anything that’s real
Behind that armored shield?

Is that the way that you feel?
Is that the way that you feel?
Is that the game that you deal?
Or just the way that you feel?

CP: (singing to KY- who’s getting ready for the ceremony)

You would live a lie
To get anotha try
At what you thought we might've taken
Before yo' troubled mind was breakin’?
Well I won’t lie to you
Ya know I tried that too
But gendas all been made 'one-sided'
Connect their walls, they'll stay divided

Think of what you most desire  
The things that matter don’t retire
Think of all you've thrown aside
By tryin’ to restore your pride

Is that the way that you feel?
Is that the way that you feel?
Is all that maintenance real?

When yo' lyin’ is done
And yo' time is gone
And yo' crime have no appeal
Will that be the way that you feel?

On one screen we flashback a little bit and see QB telling her advisors confidentially:  "This kid might be an asset to the campaign after all.  We could potentially win over some swing votes with a negro on the team. I'm going to put the pressure on Bonnie to get married before the election.  The media will have a field day, and you know what that means- all the publicity we want.  Then, when I've gotten everything I need from him, he'll be thrown out with the rest of the trash."

(M and D in scene now, screens show younger KY looking through the window of his house at that time, w/ parents' silhouettes inside.  Onstage, spotlight on KY, everyone else frozen in time/ in darkness until PB walks to alter)

When I was three feet, ten
My role models preached their zen
That destiny was not some treasure
To bend and bleed for wanton pleasure
I vowed to understand
My tao to be a man
But found my spirit bound and broken
Drowned beneath the sound unspoken

(PB slowly walking up to alter, lights come slowly back up onstage. KY looks over at parents onstage during next lines who are smiling at him proudly and obviously not listening to his words)

Love is never asking why
Mother told me not to fly
And Father showed me to conceal
My only chance to heal

(KY and PB join hands together, KY ((smiling)) sings to PB)

And that’s the way that I feel
Yeah, that’s the way that I feel
It ain’t no major ordeal
It’s just the way that I feel

(Chorus joins in, QB puts small crowns on KY and PB, poses for a photo w/ the couple and everyone applauds)

And that’s the way that we feel (some chorus answers)
Yes, that's the way that we feel
It’s just the way that we feel
When the change has come
And the game's been won
And the reign is ours to steal

(QB with arm around KY, looking into his eyes)
It's just the way that we feel (4xs)

It's just the way that we feel (some chorus answers again)
It’s just the way that we feel
It's just the way that we feel
It’s just the way that we feel

(repeat w/ choreographed (reception-like) dance, balloons, streamers, etc... as QB leads a conga-line of sorts, pausing every now and again to pose/ smile to one of the many video cameras and snapshots/ flashes ((press)) following her every move). 

On screen we see pictures of the photo ops that QB is taking w/ KY and the manner at which she is exploiting him. Then, we see her in a meeting with her advisors again: She looks down at the action onstage and says, "This is going better than I ever imagined.  They are eating it up.  After this election, we're going to use this boy to push my big plan through the floor in Congress, and sell it to all those mindless sheep who adore him."  (Hefty advisor laughter/coughing in background) One advisor answers, "Pardon me Your Excellency, but what if he doesn't go for it?  She says, "Don't you worry. I know a little something about his private life that no one else does.  He'll do whatever we need him to."

     After a while, CP steps out to audience and says (screens show photos of what he's describing), "So Kyrone and the Princess started they fairytale life together.  They was doin' pretty well for themselves. Got they very own condo in the city, even began talkin' 'bout startin' a family of they own, but Kyrone couldn't ignore that "other stuff" fo-ever. Befo' long he was startin' t' have them visions again and foolin' around with the...ahem...'maid' o' honor." 

9) Ky Met A 'Girl' / Never You Worry

(Scene changes to M and D sitting alone at a very fancy dining table and being served dinner by a team of male butlers and female maids.  KY's parents are 'royalty' now, and very proud to be.)

(M) I'm worried that Kyrone has been hanging out with that 'thing' again.  I don't even know how to refer IT.

(D) Yeah, what the hell is that?  It LOOKS like a girl, ACTS like a girl, but that sure ain't no lady's voice- I'll tell you what! (he chuckles nervously)

(M) Why doesn't Ky think about all the humiliation he's caused everyone by going around with someone who dresses up like a dime-store prostitute! I mean, who is she trying to kid anyway?  What IS it with her?

(D) You mean HIM.
(M) Huh!

(M) Why is it fun to play that way?
(D) What Ky has done could make him GAY!

(M) Ky met a girl who whipped it out for him
(D) Ky met a girl who whipped it out
(M) Yes, a sly-handed earl who whipped it out for him,...WOW! (look at each other and roll eyes in disgust)

(D) Jermaine was her name, she whipped it out
(M) No, John Vein was her name, she whipped it out
(D) Yeah, and pain was her game- she whipped it out on him, YOW! (they cringe)

(M) And as of late, we hesitate to pick up the phone
(D) She's frazzled up his brain
(M) Why won't she leave him alone
(B) The morals we display must have a strict overtone
(M) And Ky wouldn't jeopardize his throne
(D) For a night at red light with some guy named Joan!

(B) Ky met a girl who whipped it out for him
     Ky met a girl who whipped it out
     Yes, a sly-handed earl who whipped it out for him, WOW!

(D) That glamorous brut
(M overlapping) Eeeewwww, She whipped it out on him (making 'grossed-out' face)
(D) So limey and cute
(M) Eeeewwww, She whipped it out on him
(D) We tried to refute!
(B) But she whipped it out on him YOW!

(set changes around singing parents and helpers, taking us back a little bit in time to a hotel ballroom (3 tiers/ levels onstage) episode described below. QB is there also, observing the events.) 

(M) And then a day, I think in May, my ears overheard (screen- we see her standing next to a closed door listening to KY talking w/ someone on his phone)
     A chilling conversation so grotesquely absurd
     About some freakish conference at the hotel on third                                                                
(D) So we hurried right over to save our boy's soul
      From the leather devices adorning the walls
(M and maids) Homo-erotica shown overhead (maids looking up from cleaning for harmony)
(D)  And there was Jermaine in a chain-laded thread
(M and maids) With some paint on her face, and a wig shaded red
(ALL) When she he turned to Ky and said...

Jermaine (in drag, of course, holding an oversized knockwurst in one hand and a bottle of mustard in the other- arm around D) sings w/ a German accent together with D and male CH.  KY runs offstage completely embarrassed. The male servants from above transform into gay dancers by instantly removing their servant garb to reveal S&M fetish garments underneath on the word "Please.") 

(J,D,Butlers)                                                                                     (Maids)
Please come taste mine sausage                                        Come taste my knockwurst meat        
It's guaranteed to 'shake your blues' away                               Shake your blues...
Oh please partake of my sauerkraut today               
'Cause there's still this hefty bill that's left to pay                    Left to pay...
And the tart who threw this party came to play! (eyes Dad)   This star has come to play!
(D has suddenly discovered that J has been singing to him and backs off on the last line)
(Maids exit) (Dance Sequence:  First, D is being playfully taunted and chased around the stage by the gay men chorus/dancers (also holding sausages).  This is reminiscent of an old "Benny Hill Show" high-speed short (eyebrows, winking, etc...). At one point (Bass solo) D ducks into a closet and clutches what appears to be a gun in a holster.  He puts it close to his frightened face for comfort.  Then, the spotlight comes up and we see that it's actually attached to the waist of a "cowboy" in leather chaps/ underwear who's smiling suggestively at him.  More chasing continues. Mom looks flustered and tries to stop all the chasing, but it's hopeless. 

During all this, J runs offstage after KY.  When the 7/4 music section comes, J catches up w/ KY (different scenery) and they perform a highly tense and erotic dance together, after which we see the doubt in KY's mind about what he's done.  At the end, they turn back and forth reaching out for one another at opposite times in gestures of longing, so that we get the sense that they still haven't fully connected.

(KY) (looking back toward his parents off in the distance)
Why do they do this ridiculous shit?
My life is now ruined, I hate to admit
And how do I face with an ounce of good grace
My wife who'll pay for it?

(J) Never you worry, 'bout all of their smack
It's only a smoke screen for what they lack
Believe it or not, damned is the pot
That calls the kettle 'black'

(KY) I followed their teaching, embraced their laws
Their bible preaching with evident flaws
They don't make what they should, 'cause they take what is good
And defile it with their claws

(J) Never you worry, you're not their kind
Your emotional fury is doubt in your mind
They'll tell you it's evil, a devilish ride
Then sell you GENOCIDE!  (lights become psychedelic/spooky)

On screens we see nuclear holocaust and mass extinction of human population with the  angelic chorus from "No Thang" repeating: Ayeeeayeeeayeeeayeeay
Meanwhile, stage switches to QB's "office."  M and D are waiting outside the door.  PB is walking toward them with a confused look.   QB opens door and sings:

(QB) (to M and D)
I'll figure out how we're going to deal with him now
For your family it's quite the strike
And yet even so, we should let Bonni know
(to PB) I've got some news dear, you might not like...

We see QB talking with M,D and PB about this.  We can't hear what they are saying, but we see their reactions.  We see PB very perplexed, shaking her head, arguing/ yelling back at her mom, clasping her ears shut, sudden horror on her face, then running away from them, crying hysterically. 

(music changes) We then see the parents on their knees begging and pleading w/ QB and kissing her hand in submission. She pats them on their heads as if to say, 'everything will be alright.'  KY and J are watching this from afar. KY is visibly upset. J tries to comfort him (more choreographed dance).

(J)  Someday, you'll find 
There's nothing more you can say
They've seen their days and they've got their ways
But I know with time they'll change

(KY)  Somehow I get the feeling they wouldn't even care
If all that constant kneeling wasn't such a cross to bear
But I get to pay the price, banished from paradise
With just my underwear

(J) Never you worry, your dream's still intact
Don't be discouraged, stay right where your at
Their game is a show for the lame and the slow
Their conventional roles never fit every soul
'Cause wherever I go they're just dyin' to know
"Hey miss, are you this or....THAT???"

(Jermaine poses with one hand on his head on the word "THIS", takes his wig off on the word "OR" and places it on KY's head on the word "THAT") (Lights out on last note of music)